Wednesday 19 August 2009

How my greatest holidays have started

let's start...

I had blog and I loved it, it still exist but I didnt figure out how to block people read it. Why? My mother started to read it.

You know, its really uncomfortable to post something when you know that your parent can sneak and read your thoughts. So, I set this blog and started write in English, because my mother cant understand a word and also I doubt she could find this.

Anyway, Im keeping lots of thoughts inside me for a long time.

This year i finnished high school and the longest and best holidays were supposed to begin in June. Four months of great fun, trips, doing nothing, earning some money.

Idylistic, isnt it. I got to university, Im starting dentistry in Prague. Exciting but according to circumstances its more stressful and scary.
Which circumstances am I talking about?

Dont know where to start really. Ive got a girlfriend. And yes, Im a girl (unfortunately you cant know in English unless I say so... this is what I dont like about this language). She is Irish, we met 7 months ago (but this is another story).
She moved in my mothers and mine flat about month before my final exam. I thought everythings fine, despite we had really small flat 1+1.. I think we were going well. Until my mother started to have lots of problems with my gf. She started to talk to me about her in worst ways... That she is a liar, thief, parasite and what ever. It made me so upset, I didnt know what to do. She was paying rent (not very cheap) and lived on two square meters like some maggot.

My mum was moving to another flat, which was under reconstruction. The script was just perfect. We will survive the co-habiting for two months till the flat is finnished and then my mum is gone, we have the flat and my mum is happy and excited about new place too.

One day we have had terrible fight with my mum. My gf was at work. We were screaming and yelling on each other so badly, I had to listen all that shit she was saying about my love... That Im loosing myself, that SHE is piece of shit, worse than shit, she is looser and everything. I left the house and went to meet my lover and told her everything what was going on in last few weeks.

We decided to suggest that we would move out. And, that was it. My mum was so angry she threw us on the street in the middle of the night.

Isnt that ironic. She left me the car so I could go everywhere in the world. But I couldnt go anywhere. We went to my dads place and asked him if we can stay for couple of days.

In one day we found great flat in the same area where my old one is. I havent talked to my mother for weeks. My grand mother is bombarding me with telephonates that I must humble, I must fix it with my mother. But I dont know what have I done wrong. Where did I make mistake? Where my girl did mistake? Have I had choice?

Sometimes Im thinking I've had a choice... Leave my girlfriend and stay "home", be submissive and listen to my mother. Or, I havent had a choice and I had to leave and there was no other choice.

One week later I spoke to my dad. He said there could be a problem with me getting my stuff, that my mother doesnt want me to have it. The same day I phoned her... I could get my stuff, but "leave the whore at home".
I got the keys, my pet... And had to listen that I betrayed her, that Im not her daughter anymore and that she doesnt want to see me anymore. That Im a thief, and that i should think about that nothing there is really mine. I wanted to pack my stuff... But really couldnt do that. Broken down, i spent almost 20 years in that flat. Had completely new bed 175x200 square cm.
So my girl told me to call my mum and ask her to stay there.

Its too late she said. No way back. Bye... So I went.

1 comments:

snoodle said...

first try to make a comment

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