Unsent letters

Am i weirdo or do u do it as well?

I write a letter... to anyone. But dont send it. I dont know why do i write it then? To sort out my thoughts? There are sooo many things I want to say and ask. I have just written one letter but as soon as I finnished it, I decided not to send it. Or give it, whatver...

Maybe I could post it here and who knows, maybe the person will come across my blog and read it. But maybe not.

I do it with blog posts too. I write a post and then dont post it. Considering not posting even this one.

Shall I or shall I not?
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Tomorrow. Its really tomorrow!

Am leaving on a jet plane and as soon as I will arrive, I will be held like she never lets me go ;)

Packing my stuff and have really big problem with really small bag. You are allowed only one baggage on board, and I cant afford to check-in normal bag, so I am reducing and reducing and I guess I will have to wash my panties every three days cause I am not taking more than 3 of them lol

Pissed off because Ive lost my cam's lense protector and now I am worried to take my cam with, I would be very unhappy if I scratched it by the mistake. Will ask my flat mate to lend me hers, but she would miss her lovely camera too much lol.

Will have 4 hours stop in Liverpool. Am looking forward to have a wee touristy thing, taking pictures etc. I am weirdo, I love taking pictures even when I am in my home city.

Hopefully I will be able to buy a new camera, I have an itch for lumix FZ-18 or FZ-28. My friend works in Panasonic and if she wanted to buy it, she has some sales, so I could abuse her a little ;)

Bye and have a nice time while I am away :)
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Samarabalouf

Was just listening some music on shuffle mode and suddenly something incredibly catchy, interesting, nice, cute, playful, happy, rhythmic and just GREAT started to play.

Didn't hear that before (i am wondering where I got it), opened player and there was Samarabalouf, with album Bababa, playing amazing acoustic guitar. Jazzy and swingy rhythm really got my hips going.

Its just absolutely super and I will share this bit of my today's joy :)

I am sorry for quality. Its crap. Havent found better. Enjoy, hope youll like it :)

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Everybody deserves to be mad. Pure egoism.

I am stuffed with the "normality" all around. I can hear everywhere "you are NOT NORMAL!!!", this is not normal, that is not normal, what is normal then?

I am lesbian. And I think it is normal as far as I am happy and do not hurt anyone. I still cant walk on the street holding my girls hand, because she doesnt want to be in the centre of attention and entertainment for others. And its true. But really, who doesnt see us? Even when we are not holding hands. The way how we look at each other... Only dumbass cant see.


Why is green and blue combination of clothes so out? Once I had green trousers and blue vest top. And some old guy noted "green and blue good for mad heads!". But honestly, you can see the combination of green and blue everywhere. Trees are green and the sky is blue and when the sun is shining its soo beautiful!

I love new things. I love new crayons, new papers, sharpened pencils, i love to pronounce "r" and "sh". I love licking ice cubes. I love hot bath (but that is normal, right?). I love to sing loudly how the song goes. Some people say I should rather shut up cause my singing is terrible. But i doubt they ever tried it. Good singing is imho not about good voice, but good heart and emotions.

I love cleaning. Hate tidying, but love cleaning. I love when white things are white without any trace of dirt. I love ironing. Love how all the wrinkles disappear. I love when my legs are perfectly shaved. I love play with my hair. I love to say FUCK! I love to say I love you. And I love to hear it as well.

I love order in my computer folders. I love to watch sunset and dream. I love being tickled on my back. I love receiving post, the real, hand-written post. Also I love to write it :)

I love my ballpoints. I love fixing things. And not just things. I love fixing everything. Broken hearts and broken legs.... Broken people. And I am good at it :)

Enough of love.

I hate addictive things. I am addicted to communication with people and I know it. But its hardly treatable. I hate drugs, hate beer and hate hangovers. I hate being lost and bitten by mosquitos.

I hate overcrowded buses and trams and every public transport stuff. I hate migrenes!!! I hate boking and insecurity, suspense. I hate dirty keyboard.

I hate long nails.
Hate lies.
Hate flies.
Hate public toilets.
Hate when dont know where my documents are.
Hate when I am afraid.
Hate being lonely but not alone. Unfortunately those two things are usually coming together...
Hate when I am jealous. And I am. A lot. And I know it and try to fight against it.
Hate being naive. And I am. A lot. But dont try to beat it cause being naive is soo much easier...

And finally, I love writing pure egoistic posts which noone reads. But it helps :)

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I'm dancing as fast as I can

Just finnished reading this great book written by Barbara Gordon. I managed to read it during 3 days - its really very readable and exciting story.

It made me really disheartened and nervous as well. I was devouring the story gulp after gulp and couldnt believe what is happening. As is the way when you read psycho story like this, you can feel it by yourself... Or is it just me who really goes through every situation, every sorrow and every joy with the main characters?

I highly recommend to read this shocking story. About people, who are not all right. About people, who love, who live and try to survive in this mad world. About people who lost and found themselves...

Zeptal jsem se ostatních,
žen i mužů,
co to dělají s takovou jistotou
a jak se tak naučili žít;

oni mi vlastně neodpověděli,
prostě dál tančili a žili dál...
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Distance relationships

Since when I am... like... "relational active", I havent had "normal" relationship. All my love affairs were distance... First it was Cyprus (well, that was far), then it was another city (from my country though), but about 2,5 hours by bus far away, and now it's Ireland.


After the Cyprus experience and going every friday by bus standing (because it was usually overcrowded), I decided not to have any distance relationship again ever. I want just go a couple of stations by subway or tram and done. But fate obviously does want me to travel a lot.

It has a few advantages, eg. you get to know soo many places and many new people, many new airports and cultures...

But on the other hand, its heart breaking to say goodbye, fall asleep alone after getting used to be cuddled every night. Be dependent on skype, MSN or other communication programs and utilities, excluded phone because that is soooo filthy expensive (my god I dont want to see my phone bill honestly...)

Anyway how we czechies say - "love even mountains carries over" (literally translated... am not sure what is the right english idiom). And believe me or not it worth for me to wait....
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Oh my god

I am so in love. And I want to shout it from the rooftops so everyone knows how much i love my girl. I dont care what anyone thinks...

We are together exactly 7 months and 6 days. And I am still sooooo cheesy its disgusting, but I love it :D and happily she loves it too.
We say each other every day at least once we love each other... We love to fall asleep so tight we can feel each others heart beat. I love to play with her hair. I love to rub her on her tummy. I love to nibble her nose. I love to give her thousands little kisses all over her.

I can really see us in our future, with nice house, dogs, children. I know, I am naive. Who knows how the future will be. But I really wish I will still fall asleep with her, looking forward to see her after work and wake up beside her.

And finally, I love to fuck her.
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