Temptation to write....

Just anything, as usual. To let my thoughts go away from me...

Living in the "new" flat for one month already. Waiting for my lover (comes next week), who feels that I am suffocating her... I dont know what I am doing wrong in our relationship. What should I do? I dont want to suffocate her. Stopped texting her, stopped calling her. Now will leave it up to her. When she wants to contact me, I will be happy...

I am so scared and worried. Need to get a subletter here because the rent is too high for us. Really many people were interested and mailed me. But really to have a look came only half of them and the rest didnt bother to tell that they are not coming. Quarter of people who came texted me that they are sorry but found another place - closer to work, flat with more people in, ... And another quarter didnt bother to contact me at all.

Really nervous about that... Need someone in two days - mission impossible...

I miss my girl like crazy. But afraid to tell her... Hope everything is gonna be just fine by time.

School is hard (who would expect that). Cant wait to finnish the first year. Will have to lie in the books whole weekend and study cranium, then latin and histology.

Disgusted with my country... With people. Feeling lonely and alone here. On the other hand, I am refusing people and socializing in last few weeks. Its like a magic circle... I want to see people, go out, have fun... But on the other side - I want them to leave me alone. I actually dont know what I want. Thats even worse.
I am going out, getting drunk... Was in bar this week, last week... And what. It just gave me hangover... Was fun, "good craic"...

Another useless post which will stay unread but will help me to sort my thoughts out and kill some of time which I dont have anyway....

Feel like I want to go to bed and sleep for 5 years, then wake up and see where I am. Or just stay dreaming. I am dreaming all the time anyway, even when I am awake. Strange, that I need a coffee when going to study. It kicks my ass and then I can learn a lot in short time. Will wake up early tomorrow and stay - why am I writing stay? Wanted to write start. Mr. Freud would be laughing at the moment :) Start studying.

Listening to Muse, and having flutterbys in my tummy, because I have really strong memories for this music, especially for the Sing for absolution.