I am stuffed with the "normality" all around. I can hear everywhere "you are NOT NORMAL!!!", this is not normal, that is not normal, what is normal then?
I am lesbian. And I think it is normal as far as I am happy and do not hurt anyone. I still cant walk on the street holding my girls hand, because she doesnt want to be in the centre of attention and entertainment for others. And its true. But really, who doesnt see us? Even when we are not holding hands. The way how we look at each other... Only dumbass cant see.
Why is green and blue combination of clothes so out? Once I had green trousers and blue vest top. And some old guy noted "green and blue good for mad heads!". But honestly, you can see the combination of green and blue everywhere. Trees are green and the sky is blue and when the sun is shining its soo beautiful!
I love new things. I love new crayons, new papers, sharpened pencils, i love to pronounce "r" and "sh". I love licking ice cubes. I love hot bath (but that is normal, right?). I love to sing loudly how the song goes. Some people say I should rather shut up cause my singing is terrible. But i doubt they ever tried it. Good singing is imho not about good voice, but good heart and emotions.
I love cleaning. Hate tidying, but love cleaning. I love when white things are white without any trace of dirt. I love ironing. Love how all the wrinkles disappear. I love when my legs are perfectly shaved. I love play with my hair. I love to say FUCK! I love to say I love you. And I love to hear it as well.
I love order in my computer folders. I love to watch sunset and dream. I love being tickled on my back. I love receiving post, the real, hand-written post. Also I love to write it :)
I love my ballpoints. I love fixing things. And not just things. I love fixing everything. Broken hearts and broken legs.... Broken people. And I am good at it :)
Enough of love.
I hate addictive things. I am addicted to communication with people and I know it. But its hardly treatable. I hate drugs, hate beer and hate hangovers. I hate being lost and bitten by mosquitos.
I hate overcrowded buses and trams and every public transport stuff. I hate migrenes!!! I hate boking and insecurity, suspense. I hate dirty keyboard.
I hate long nails.
Hate lies.
Hate flies.
Hate public toilets.
Hate when dont know where my documents are.
Hate when I am afraid.
Hate being lonely but not alone. Unfortunately those two things are usually coming together...
Hate when I am jealous. And I am. A lot. And I know it and try to fight against it.
Hate being naive. And I am. A lot. But dont try to beat it cause being naive is soo much easier...
And finally, I love writing pure egoistic posts which noone reads. But it helps :)
Monday, 7 September 2009
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2 comments:
Fuck=good word.
Fuck homophobia, people who tell you you can't sing, and anybody who uses the word "normal" to exclude other people.
Being alone doesn't need to make a person lonely--in fact, being around other people who I can't relate to--i.e. most people--makes me lonelier than being alone...
The one thing I hate more than public toilets is the lack of public toilets when I badly need one.
Any way, I read your pure eogistic post, and enjoyed it (having just wandered in from Blog Catalog)...
Oh... You have no idea how much your comment cheered me up :)
Thank you...
Good point about the toilets! :D
And about the loneliness - youre so right. Its much more harder to be in society where u dont fit or dont want to fit than be alone...
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